I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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