You work out of a Hotel?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
