Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
