Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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