He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Shitshow foam night was such a success
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
