Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
