i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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