Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
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