He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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