I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
