so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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