First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
