Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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