his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
