Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
And then my night got REAL pukey
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
