im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
My legs feel like baby dolphins
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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