No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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