yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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