Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
