Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
