Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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