i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
