But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
