I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
