The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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