Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
