Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
