I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
