i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
It was confusing and full of hummus
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
