Sry I called you an 8
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
