You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
