Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Randomize
