i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
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