there's paper in my vomit.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
