I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
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