her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
