how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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