who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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