I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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