Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
my poor anus
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
