i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
