Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
