My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
