he thought i was a dude.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Never underestimate the power of titties
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