She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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