I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
