I think my vagina is haunted
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
