He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
