I have demons in me.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
