there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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