I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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